I Still Miss ...

All the males of the immediate family all gone now...all could cook ... Dad had special recipes and did cooking at times ,.. not always in the kitchen at home. but on our holidays too. The special barbecues along the Camel trail long before the rules and regs we have now ... Outstanding and obviously memorable ... 

A Friday with A Difference ...

with my life piecing together some more ... oral health is still not taking seriously by some in the adversity we went through ... when all strands structures and routines of life as I knew it disintegrated ans shattered beyond recognition ...

Only now am I piecing together aspects of my health that is not seen ... and then not heard ... 

Day of Days in a Year of Years

the invisible climb getting to where I was once in my life ...  but time having moved on while off course of life with my late husbands complex needs from how I once knew it ...  that went on his untimely death and is now becoming visible once again to what I once knew but is new ... slowly from the start of this current year and as the same year draws to its conclusion ... 

The complex workings of the mind ...

Another study from the many posts on blogs that could end up in a lecture at a uni ... as often joked with those currently at uni ... themselves ...

The Golden Glow of a late October Day ...

The colour of gold was everywhere today ... along with rustic reds and the most beautiful bronze ... all vibrant to me after those long, dark, dank, dull days trying to get my late hubby the much needed help until I too succumbed to that environment ... leaving my torso covered with such a rash ...

There was a lot to see and feel today after such a wet start to the day ... it was a bonus too, not only getting to have lunch in the park, but to feel the warmth of the sun too. With a dramatic blue and white cloud sky thrown in for good measure.   

And many conversations today despite the time of year and darker evenings; all were of a happy note about the warmth of the day, after the rain ... And to top it all, seeing the gold sun, with those golden rays towards this day's end, filtering the most beautiful hues over the now ploughed fields that were a delight to get to see ... long after those very same fields, now harvested, were glowing with a different reflection of yellows in the stunning fields of gold, only a season before ...

You do not need a Calender ...

or leave the home to know it is half term ... here ... The joyful sounds of the youngsters playing outside reminds you as such ... 

Bonds of Friendship ...

It seems mild out and it is quiet otherwise ... They are making the most of the weather and time well spent enjoying the sights sounds and play ... And forming bonds of those friendships that one day will become polite instead of rushing round to see if you can play at a drop of a hat ... 

Electronic Games ...

which are fun and funny ... and good for keeping the mind in good shape too ...  

Again this is something you can experience as though you are doing it like Temple Run and the graphics on that are stunning ...

It is strange to me though; how you can have conversations with and look after virtual animals. It is quite scary how this responds to you ... a bit like robotics and science fiction becoming fact ...

Still all fascinating what there is that you can play and do these days ...

Shopping ...

was an interesting exercise today, firstly my strength is not fully functional yet, and again sourcing a basket was even more difficult than before. One of The cheeses I like to get from time to time was not in stock ... Spending time looking for alternatives and negotiating shop layout changes is exasperating at the best of times ... 

Product Placement ...

Is a point of contention with me coming from a market town that still has the high street shops with the personal touch ... it does not entice me even less so after living with a collector. And not to go shopping on an empty stomach with the best day to go shopping are all discussions long past now.

Buying For One ...

though was a lot easier today and some of these items were on offer too ... I was able to get some part meals for the store cupboard to use when my appetite is better. It just the need to get the fresh produce when I am ready ... in effect meals are sort of planned to go with the flow ...

Temperature dipped ...

In the time out this afternoon ... But I was out for a good couple of hours alone sitting on that bench installing apps of games suggested and watching the world go by ... 

I did take the camera out unfortunately, it was enough just to get a nice piece of steak and some milk and upload ... I found that tiring in itself today ... 

Now it is time to slow cook some good nutritious food in time for the forthcoming evening of working out a solution to a current problem or trying again tomorrow, if I find a good movie is on ... instead ... 

Another varied day in my recovery of recovery of recovery and grief ... 

Sitting on yet another bench

This time as Asda cafe is being renovated and using the WiFi to download some apps ... it has been as always a very interesting time as I sit here

The Carrier Bag Charge

It is good to see less carrier bags although as previously stated there is pros and con ...

• Ease of unpacking for home deliveries 
• Hygiene reasons 

The thing is if you look at it whether you pay the carrier bag charge or all the array of bags to purchase in the chain stores you are paying either way 

For me I have my trusty shopping trolley and an Eden Project sustainable bag my sister purchased for me. However the mood or amount of shopping depends on which is used.

The Derelict Post Office

There is a lot of change in my town presently with shops and offices shifting around ... and from where I am sitting the amount of people still working out where the post office has moved to ... this has been since Monday 3 August I believe...

It is eerily as though time has stood still as you see into the darkened room and counters behind the windows 

No room for wheelchairs

And as I am writing this just had a conversation with a wheel chair user trying to get through a narrow gap with a display unit put in way of access 

And another conversation about how these benches slope back  

Browsing through the photos ...

... 

... And so remniscent of times past now without the men in our immediate family who were once here ... And all the Autumnal walks not only with them in days gone by ... But enjoying many a walk with just me and one of our few dogs we have had over the years ... before and after I moved away from home ... 

There is something alluring about spending time alone with your thoughts ... which is now more often than not ... these days now 

Another Monday in the same Park ... in the Garden of England ...

after more rest and recovery ... taking more photos ... and enjoying the sights sounds and some smells around me ... homeless people ... students ... Mums and their babies ... business men and so much more today and as is park life through the centuries. A place like the seaside and piers it could certainly tell us many stories through the eras ... The place is timeless in certain aspects and we come and go like the fashions and forms of vehicles that silently echo through that has gone before ... us ... from the here and now ...

Achieved my quiet and ...

... restful day yesterday ... tentatively hoping to get out later today ... had a few moments of problems with my health ... and trying to eat little and often to restore my loss ... been trying to learn some more new tech things with my devices. 

It is harder with the concentration levels dipped due to my rough time physically. It is better to try and keep busy, to do the best I'm able ... and at least I was left alone yesterday. 

A quiet day ...

making plans, as always my goal posts have adjusted to include the extra medical appointments and new plans to solve all the recent added stress and reduce it all to more of a minimum. I am hoping to rest some more today peacefully, and try and get out tomorrow. 

In my life, there is always plenty to do, For the moment the main priority is to focus on the things I enjoy, and watch some more movies, too. 

Monday in a Park

... after an erratic time of one health issue, following another and then left low, when I had an adverse reaction to new medication. It left me weak.

Dartford Park

I needed to get to see some different scenery and decided to take a bus ride out of my town and run an errand. And I briefly stopped by the park to see how the seasons were amalgamating from one to the other. It took my mind off things for a while. 

I had missed chunks of time with first resting from an ear problem. And no sooner than I finished a course of antibiotic spray, I had to deal with a reaction to the next lot of medication to assist in keeping my iron stores topped, restored and healthy. 

It is more than a nuisance that I am now again back to being dizzy, with the hope that I replace the nutrients swiftly. 

Out of Action ...

With a bothersome recurring ear dilemma that happens from time to time since last week ... Kept life to a minimum while resting to aid healing ... The course of antibiotics has finished ... I a m waiting a few more days  to see if it settles down ... Otherwise another trip to the doctors to see what is happening ... 

All these things I am careful of ... lack of daylight causes long term health problems... besides the broken heart that nothing can heal ... Which is why I have left a electronic trail since that death day and knowing there is one person to follow that trail 

If I escape long term health problems ... As often said stress  ... weight fluctuations ... my husband used to say there was nothing to me ... There was a lot of teasing that I was too thin .... And of a photo put in the kitchen cupboard of me from the days I first met hubby .... all this reduces life expectancy ... 

I have experienced the full spectrum of weight from too lean to the opposite ... And conversations of all sorts over the years to more recent have kept a wry inner smile going ... I know both sides the coin and both you get relentless teasing etc ...